zombies, burn victims and deportation

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Zombies, burn victims and deportation, oh, my!

By Emily Guendelsberger
Philadelphia Daily News

THE ECONOMY! Washington Mutual going belly-up! Potential second-in-lines-to-the-presidency appearing scarily uninformed about policy and historical facts in interviews! Potential second-in-line-to-the-presidency Sarah Palin appearing . . . at the Irish Pub last night?

Yes, it may appear that it's the end of the world as we know it. But if you're like SatTatt, you've developed a certain tolerance over the last few months for the apocalypse, so let's return to normalcy with some good, old-fashioned gossip!

Reality TV rots your BRAAINS

No, wait, SatTatt takes it back: Today's most potentially awesome news involves the zombie apocalypse.

"Dead Set," produced by the same company and being filmed on the same set as "Big Brother," will appear to be a standard reality show until the zombies attack.

The show is scripted and fully fictional: SatTatt has never supported reality shows in which contestants are actually eaten by zombies. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Rhymes: no longer busted

Rapper Busta Rhymes won a court order in Britain yesterday allowing him to perform a charity concert yesterday night at London's Royal Albert Hall.

Rhymes was stopped by immigration in a London airport Thursday. The attempt to have him kicked out of the UK was based on incorrect information that he had a conviction for felony gang assault. Rhymes has only misdemeanors on his record, for drunk driving and assualting a former driver and a fan.

DJ AM released from hospital

DJ AM, who with former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker survived a plane crash this month that killed the four other passengers, was released from a Georgia hospital yesterday and is back in Los Angeles.

Barker remains hospitalized, but friend Jermaine Dupri told reporters that Barker should be released in the next couple of weeks.

The DJ traveled to California by bus.

Inanity now!

* The long-awaited Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy will be distrubuted exclusively by, uh, Best Buy. OK, whatever, Axl Rose. Brian Wilson would never do this.

* Pop group Junior Senior disbanded yesterday to pursue solo projects; fans' pleas that the Denmark duo don't stop (don't stop), don't stop the beat went unheeded.

* "Transformers" star Shia LaBeouf beat the DUI rap, but may still lose his license for refusing to take a breathalyzer test.*

Free Katie

Original

Anonymous protesters try to "Free Katie!" on Broadway

By Emily Guendelsberger

Philadelphia Daily News

THE FACES of the Anonymous protesters may be familiar to Philadelphians: Hundreds of them at a time have turned up in Center City over the past year to hold demonstrations against Scientology. Their uniform usually involves a mask, often a smiling Guy Fawkes mask a la "V for Vendetta."

It's unlikely that the masked faces that turned up at the Broadway debut of Katie Holmes Thursday night are the same as our own hometown weirdos-with-a-cause (the Anonymous group has held protests in dozens of cities). But it was still pretty deja vu for SatTatt, who happened to wander through Anonymous' Philly demonstration in February.

The masked protesters chanted "Scientology kills!" and waved "Free Katie!" signs outside a preview performance of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons," in which Katie Holmes plays the role of Miss Ballyhoo.

Holmes' husband and noted Scientologist, Tom Cruise, was in the audience and reportedly hugged Dustin Hoffman, but did not engage the protesters.

John Lithgow stars in the revival, which opens Oct. 16.

Hasselbeck to move to Fox?

It must be the John Edwards scoop, because it seems that lately the media is taking the National Enquirer . . . well, let's say with only a grain of salt, rather than a snow shovel.

That being said, the Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters, doyenne of "The View," and often-bullied young conservative View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck are so at odds lately that Hasselbeck is . . . wait for it . . . considering taking an anchor job at Fox News.

Although SatTatt does not agree with Hasselbeck's views and generally finds her fairly shrill and uninformed, she still feels that it would be a great justice if Hasselbeck got to go from being pushed around by four outspoken left-wing ladies to pushing around liberal scapegoats of her own at Fox. Maybe they'll even give her her very own Alan Colmes! *