zombies, burn victims and deportation

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Zombies, burn victims and deportation, oh, my!

By Emily Guendelsberger
Philadelphia Daily News

THE ECONOMY! Washington Mutual going belly-up! Potential second-in-lines-to-the-presidency appearing scarily uninformed about policy and historical facts in interviews! Potential second-in-line-to-the-presidency Sarah Palin appearing . . . at the Irish Pub last night?

Yes, it may appear that it's the end of the world as we know it. But if you're like SatTatt, you've developed a certain tolerance over the last few months for the apocalypse, so let's return to normalcy with some good, old-fashioned gossip!

Reality TV rots your BRAAINS

No, wait, SatTatt takes it back: Today's most potentially awesome news involves the zombie apocalypse.

"Dead Set," produced by the same company and being filmed on the same set as "Big Brother," will appear to be a standard reality show until the zombies attack.

The show is scripted and fully fictional: SatTatt has never supported reality shows in which contestants are actually eaten by zombies. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Rhymes: no longer busted

Rapper Busta Rhymes won a court order in Britain yesterday allowing him to perform a charity concert yesterday night at London's Royal Albert Hall.

Rhymes was stopped by immigration in a London airport Thursday. The attempt to have him kicked out of the UK was based on incorrect information that he had a conviction for felony gang assault. Rhymes has only misdemeanors on his record, for drunk driving and assualting a former driver and a fan.

DJ AM released from hospital

DJ AM, who with former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker survived a plane crash this month that killed the four other passengers, was released from a Georgia hospital yesterday and is back in Los Angeles.

Barker remains hospitalized, but friend Jermaine Dupri told reporters that Barker should be released in the next couple of weeks.

The DJ traveled to California by bus.

Inanity now!

* The long-awaited Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy will be distrubuted exclusively by, uh, Best Buy. OK, whatever, Axl Rose. Brian Wilson would never do this.

* Pop group Junior Senior disbanded yesterday to pursue solo projects; fans' pleas that the Denmark duo don't stop (don't stop), don't stop the beat went unheeded.

* "Transformers" star Shia LaBeouf beat the DUI rap, but may still lose his license for refusing to take a breathalyzer test.*