Marilyn Monroe sex tape hoax

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Marilyn Monroe sex tape a hoax

By EMILY GUENDELSBERGER

guendee@phillynews.com

WHAT DO Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears have in common? Of course, each woman was a point on the singer/actress continuum, each dyed her hair blond at point or another, and each was famous in her day for having a hot mess of a social life. But in more specific terms, all three have recently had media panting over false rumors that they had starred in sex tapes.

Lohan and Spears rumors are old news. But Monroe was back scandalizing a new generation from beyond the grave after New York collectibles dealer Keya Morgan came forward earlier this week with a wild story involving a 15-minute "French-type" silent reel, the FBI, Marilyn Monroe, a secret $1.5 million sale and the thwarted vengeance of J. Edgar Hoover.

The story as told by Morgan: The film, of a pre-fame Monroe performing oral sex on an unidentified man, was in the possession of the son of a former FBI informant who had worked under Hoover during the Kennedy administration. Hoover obtained the film in the '60s, hoping that the unidentified man in the film was JFK and that it could be used against him. Morgan, who first heard of the film while digging through recently-made-public FBI documents, tracked down the informant's son. The son was in possession of a bootleg copy of the film, which he claims is the only existing copy. Morgan then brokered a $1.5 million sale of the reel to an unidentified New York businessman, who Morgan says purchased it specifically so that it would never see the light of day and ruin Monroe's legacy.

Thus Morgan, having secured Monroe's good name out of the goodness of his heart... went and told the press the details of the French-type film, his part in brokering the deal and his upcoming documentary.

If you've noticed something fishy about this story, you're not the only one. After big news outlets picked up the story, several blogs and Web sites stepped up to poke holes in what they see as a shameless self-promotion move to get press for Morgan's unreleased documentary.

Web sites Defamer, the Smoking Gun and Radar are among several that questioned Morgan's credibility, going so far as to track down and publish the FBI documents that Morgan claimed had led him to the film and to point out some large differences between what the documents say and what Morgan claims they say, including how the dying informant got the reel in the first place. Defamer, which led the pack in scrutinizing the claims, is now being threatened with legal action by Morgan.

So what with Morgan's claims not lining up with the FBI's paperwork and his refusal to disclose any of the names in his story other than his own or to produce proof of the film's existence and Monroe experts far and near calling shenanigans, SatTatt feels pretty safe sticking Marilyn in the Venn diagram overlap of "Women who partied all night long" and "Women who nevertheless are not on film performing sexual acts." May she, Lindsay and Britney party hard in there for a long time. *

Jolie-Pitt twins?

Jolie-Pitt twins?

EMILY GUENDELSBERGER; guendee@phillynews.com

THERE ARE now two anonymous sources claiming that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are not only expecting again, but expecting twins. First to break the dubious news was paparazzi organization X17, followed by an exclusive by Star magazine stemming from another anonymous source.

These specific pregnancy rumors come after more general pregnancy rumors spurred by Jolie's Jan. 7 appearance at the Critics' Choice awards looking less distressingly thin than usual and drinking only nonalcoholic beverages. Here's hoping for their sakes that they aren't girls, lest they grow up in the shadow of an Olsen Twins-style Countdown to Legality clock that will inevitably be put on the Internet 10 seconds after their birth.

Cage: I did not steal that dog

In one of today's more bizarre stories (but really, what involving Nicolas Cage isn't bizarre? Anybody see the "Wicker Man" remake? Anybody? Just SatTatt, then?), Cage refuted claims made in the memoirs of "Peggy Sue Got Married" co-star Kathleen Turner that he . . . well, it's easier to just quote the passage. He:

"caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He'd come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket."

Cage responded to Turner's allegations in the following priceless statement: "I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog."

Clemens' Moment of Truth

Out of the many ways to handle serious allegations of drug abuse, one stands clear as maybe not the best choice: to do it on a nationally broadcast game show hosted by the host of "Joe Millionaire" and "Temptation Island."

The show in question is "Moment of Truth," in which contestants are hooked up to a polygraph and asked uncomfortable questions in front of their loved ones in hopes of winning up to $500,000 if they can answer 21 questions truthfully. As if that weren't cringe-y enough, the show's creator and producer, Howard Schultz, recently contacted pitcher Roger Clemens, offering him the chance to clear his name of allegations of steroid abuse.

"People have stood in awe at your incredible accomplishments in baseball," wrote Schultz in the grammatically iffy missive. "This show could let the world know that you are an incredibly courageous person as well to clear your name in front of a nationwide audience, all in the name of charity."

Insert 'Rehab' pun here

The turning point for singer Amy Winehouse's Thursday entry into rehab was when her father admitted that her family has looked into getting her committed under Britain's Mental Health Act after seeing a recent video of the singer smoking crack in front of her wedding photo.

Fellow singer Alanis Morrisette was unable to be reached for comment, but it is expected that she would rhetorically ask, "Isn't it ironic? You know, because her hit single was called 'Rehab' and now she's in rehab. Don't you think?" before musing that the situation is like rain on your wedding day. Tattle wishes Ms. Winehouse a successful recovery.

Whom do you want to be?

The Beverly Hills Institute of Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery has released its annual list of the most-requested celebrity look-alike features. Vain women everywhere have spoken: We want the eyes of Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie's lips, Katherine Heigl's nose, Carrie Underwood's jawline, Jessica Simpson's hair (wait, they do hair?) and Keira Knightley's cheeks, all topping off the body of Jessica Biel. If after hearing this, you're considering making your millions by pitching "Frankenstein: 90210" to ABC, step off - SatTatt is already there and will mess your pretty face right up.

Inanity now!

The body of Heath Ledger was transported from the Frank E. Campbell funeral home to an unidentified NYC airport. . . . Lil' Wayne was charged yesterday with four counts of felony drug and weapon possession after his tour bus was searched by an Arizona canine border-patrol unit, which turned up 4 ounces of marijuana, an ounce of cocaine, 41 grams of ecstasy and a .40-caliber pistol. His bail terms allow him to continue his tour. . . . Fox News' John Gibson, after days of protesting that it was a good joke, has finally made his apology (albeit insincere-sounding) for the crack, "Well, you certainly did find a way to quit him," a reference to the line from "Brokeback Mountain," that the radio personality made on his show after hearing of Heath Ledger's death. *

New weight-loss spokesroyalty

New weight-loss spokesroyalty

Jenny Craig one-ups rival Weight Watchers, which famously counted Fergie, duchess of York, as a member by signing some even higher-ranked royalty: Queen Latifah will be the new face of Jenny Craig. Latifah joins the austere ranks of Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli, and says she will focus less on weight loss for the sake of weight loss and more on healthy living. Let's hope nobody remembers those Pizza Hut commercials.

AP thinks Spears is a risk

With her marriage broken, her children taken away, her career in a tailspin and the state of her mental health/pubic grooming on constant display on newsstands across the country, how could things get much worse for poor Britney Spears? Well, now a major news outlet has officially put her on the likely-to-suddenly-die list: The Associated Press began preparing the obituary of Britney Spears last month. "We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," said AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington.

She's a man, baby!

Vogue editor Anna Wintour (the real-life inspiration for Meryl Streep's nasty character in "The Devil Wears Prada") takes a pointed dig at Hillary Clinton in her February editor's letter. Wintour bemoans the state of America, in which women seeking power must look "mannish." Wintour goes on to state that "this is America, not Saudi Arabia."

Thanks for filling us in, Anna. Because $10,000 handbag is to power suit as western clothing is to burka. I'm pretty sure I remember that one from the last time I took the SATs. Wintour's remarks were spurred by the senator backing out of a photo shoot, reportedly for fear of appearing too feminine.

She's all ears

Jailed Brooklyn rapper Foxy Brown, in the fourth month of her one-year sentence for violation of probation, has filed an appeal with the New York State Supreme Court asking to be released early from Riker's Island due to an issue with her cochlear implant, which was damaged in an altercation with a fellow inmate. "Please understand that sitting in a prison with murderers and criminals is not rehabilitating or what I need to deal with my inner issues," said Brown in part of her four-page letter. Rival Brooklyn rapper Lil' Kim could not be reached for comment, but reportedly has been laughing hysterically while rolling around on a pile of mink for several hours. *